Dammit!

OK, I'm enjoying Columbus and all, but... TLC's programming tonight had the uber-delicious Take Home Chef in Chicago, and the ever-fabulous Stacy and Clinton in Austin. They couldn't have done all this six to twelve months ago??? Sonufa...

Since We're Doing the Meme Thing...

LaCa has had this one up at her place for a while, and I've always thought it interesting and wanted to do my own... If it's in bold type, I've already done it.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain -- yup, Sunrise Mountain at Lake George, when I was a kid
04. Been driven around in a Ferrari
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it -- I've never said it and not meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped -- not without a court order, I'm not!
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea -- how about crossing the Chesapeake into an oncoming hurricane?
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game -- huge as in major league? Or huge as in critically important? Cuz I've been to major league stuff...
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa -- ask me again in 13 months!
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg.
19. Slept under the stars -- whattaya know, Girl Scout Camp was good for something!
20. Changed a baby's diaper -- although, you'll be interested to know it's NOT part of my job!
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon -- I'm not sure I want to... the whole heights thing...
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb -- how about a piglet?
33. Seen an eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster -- yes, but I don't like them. Again with the heights.
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day -- only one? That's barely even trying, eh LaCa?
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment -- nowadays, it's a way of life for me. I highly recommend it.
39. Had two hard drives for your computer -- I keep meaning to put the old drive onto this one, but I haven't actually done it yet.
40. Visited all 10 provinces or all 50 states -- I think I'm up to 38.
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country -- yup, and so has Pirate Alice!
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign -- I didn't do the actual stealing, but I was aware it was going on, and I still have it.
46. Backpacked in Europe -- we weren't backpacking, but we stayed in a hostel, does that count?
47. Taken a road-trip -- love to, when do we leave?
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving --- see #10
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your cds -- you mean everyone doesn't do this? How do you find anything?
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke -- air-banded, but never karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day -- oh, please! It's why God created weekends!
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites -- some of that Viking shit is pretty damn old...
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie -- how about if the guy I was married to was in a movie?
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest -- I was three, I was a sunflower, I was adorable.
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice -- again, check back in 13 months!
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River -- um... no, thank you.
82. Been on television news programs as an expert
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone.
92. Buried one of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship -- it wasn't going anywhere at the time, but I've been on one!
94. Spoken more than one language fluently -- no, but I speak several languages badly!
95. Performed in aisles at Rocky Horror
96. Raised children -- not my own, o'course, but I'd like to think I've had significant influence on several.
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour.
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an illness that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication - does broadcast journalism count? It does for me, LaCa!!
106. Lost over 100 pounds -- not all at once, but over the yo-yo course of my life, absolutely!
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray -- uh, I'll pass... RIP, Steve Irwin...
110. Broken someone's heart -- not that I know of
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild.
118. Ridden a horse -- no, and I think it's because I have some vague memory of my brother falling off a horse.
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours -- Yup. It's called mononucleosis.
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states -- someday, I hope!
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed -- see #10
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions -- I was doing so well... but I went to my 20th.
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair -- I've assisted at one, but never my own.
146: Dyed your hair
147: Been a DJ
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident
150: Saved someone's life

In Case You Cared...

OK, LaCa got tagged and made reference to me twice. Which means I'm up next, right?


1. FIRST NAME? Janine

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope. I'm the first girl on my dad's side in four generations, and I have an older brother. I was supposed to be Kevin. They hadn't even picked a girl's name.

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Full-on sob action? Prolly that week that I went from Chicago to Texas to Columbus in a matter of days. But I've been known to tear up at the random Hallmark commercial, and I'm sure that was more recent.

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? If I'm really trying or doing something for the kids, yeah. But grad school really did a number on it, and if I'm just writing a note to myself, it pretty much sucks.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Gotta be a nice, rare roast beef.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Every relationship has its ups and downs, but most days, I already am friends with me.

7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Started several, never lasted more than a few days.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Still have everything but my wisdom teeth.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Not without a court order, no.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Depends -- I get cravings. Sometimes it's frosted shredded wheat, sometimes it's Life, sometimes it's Cheerios.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Not many of them tie anymore except for my sneakers, but yeah, I have to untie and un-velcro them to get them off.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I was told once, in a very deep conversation, that I am, by someone whose opinion I trust implicitly.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Moose Tracks or Coffee Heath Bar Crunch.

14. SHOE SIZE? Depends on the shoe, usually it's an 11.

5. RED OR PINK? I've been told I should be more of a red person, but I prefer purple.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I have difficulty seeing in myself what others tell me is there. And I can be a bit paranoid sometimes.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? In no particular order: LaCa, Pirate Alice, Zes, Rick, Dallas & Will and their girls, Fat Kitty Frank.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Well, I'm not mailing it out, so they can't very well send it back!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS, SHIRT AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Still in my work clothes -- pale yellow shirt, khaki pants. Shoes are off, but I wore the chocolate brown Birkies earlier today.

20. LAST THING YOU ATE? Strawberry licorice.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Stephen Colbert is rattling on about something or other.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? A deep, almost-black plum purple.

23. FAVORITE SMELL? Crisp fall air, lilacs, cut grass, gasoline.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Talked at all? The security guy at the hospital, to get an escort to the parking lot. Conversation? Rick, last night.

25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Eyes, hair, brains, butt, hands. In that order.

26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON you stole THIS from? Love her to pieces, but worry about the pieces.

27. FAVORITE DRINK? Becherovka & Coke... although, I'd be perfectly happy with the mango margarita!

28. FAVORITE SPORT? Ice skating, gymnastics, Yankees baseball, Lady Longhorns basketball.

29. EYE COLOR? Gray, with an inner ring of yellow that sometimes makes people think they're green.

30. HAT SIZE? Not a clue, but about average.

31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Almost religiously. My eyes are what I like best about my face, and my glasses not only obscure them, but they're old and don't really suit me anymore.

32. FAVORITE FOOD? Creme brulee, chicken paprikas, and the peanut sauce at the now-defunct Bangkok.

33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings, unless it makes a really cool movie trite and stupid. Not into the scary stuff at all, although for someone who doesn't like scary movies, I've seen a fair number of them.

35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Rather be cold than hot... but I'd prefer to avoid the extremes so, fall, really. I can handle both summer and winter in limited doses, but in that respect, I'm not sorry to have left Texas!

36. HUGS OR KISSES? Yes, please!

37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Creme brulee, again, or warm chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge.

38. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No clue.

39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Ditto.

40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Psychosocial Care of Children in Hospitals, and Child Life: Theory and Practice. The exam's four weeks from Saturday!

41. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? The Dell logo -- I haven't invested in anything other than what came with the computer.

42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Six Feet Under reruns from Monday night, and the Daily Show/Colbert Report combo.

43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Children laughing, friends laughing, power guitar chords.

44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Huh?? What the hell kind of Sophie's Choice question is that???

45. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Budapest.

46. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? Being a Child Life Specialist.

47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? New Brunswick, NJ

48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Copped from LaCa's blog.

The Things I Do for You Kids!

One of the responsibilities our staff all share is donation duty -- about every four to five weeks, three of us are the main people in charge of taking in the items that people want to give to the hospital, distributing them among the patients, writing thank you notes and what have you. This week is my week. No, I do not want your old Barbies, board games with half the pieces missing, or stuffed animals. Yes, people bring that shit in all the time. No, we can't give it to patients if it's used. Yes, we throw it away and don't tell them.

We were notified last week that people from a correctional facility in the next county would be bringing us a large donations of pumpkins today. Apparently, pumpkin farming is the latest in rehabilitation programs, and these guys have been making donations to us for a few years now. I've been so enthralled with living in a state where there actually is an autumn again (complete with crisp air and trees changing colors!), that I didn't really think much about it. I'll be in a meeting, page me when they get here.

Since I had to extricate myself from said meeting, my two donation duty cohorts were already assisting the delivery guys when I arrived on the scene. At first glance, it was sort of cute. Two of the four guys were dressed up as a scarecrow and a lion, they had a little nylon pumpkin with candy in it that they were handing out along with the pumpkins to passersby, there was a big heavy duty wagon thing to transport the pumpkins from the haywagon (seriously, a haywagon!) into the lobby of the hospital... this was going to be well-orchestrated, and perhaps even a little fun. (Although, seriously, I would love to see the face of some parent who wasn't there as their barely verbal kid tries to explain that there was a lion in a truck at the hospital who gave him a pumpkin...) In the spirit of entertainment, I snapped a shot or two with my handy dandy cell phone.



And then it occurs to me... these are Prison Pumpkins... and these costumed guys are affiliated with the prison... how, exactly?? God bless my co-worker Katie, who had forgotten about the whole incarceration aspect of the situation, and started asking questions about how long they'd been doing this, did they own a farm, blah blah diddy blah. The scarecrow explained to her that the pumpkin patch was on-site at the correctional facility, the inmates plant the pumpkins each year by hand, and the donations they make are part of their community service. Whew. OK. Not inmates themselves, then. Just guys who work with them. Everybody has their own calling, I suppose.

During all of this, the lion and the scarecrow have been making good use of both a digital and a video camera. Scarecrow tells us it's good for the jailbirds hoods and thugs inmates to see the end result of their labor, and rather sneakily segues from there right into, "So, how about a picture of you girls..." Y'all know how I love to have my picture taken. But, it's for the greater good, so... OK.

At which point, Scarecrow hops down from the haywagon that he's been sitting in looking relatively normal (he IS in a scarecrow costume, after all!) this entire time, and someone must have invisibly sliced through him at the knees with a self-cauterizing light saber as he was doing so, because suddenly, dude is like, four-foot five, max. Katie and I look at each other in wonder of how, exactly, we lost control of this situation. She's shorter than I am by a good few inches, and I could tell his diminutive stature made her somewhat nervous as he moved to stand next to her. Imagine my delight in realizing that, as he then pulled me into the shot, the top of his head came just exactly to my chest. I'm about to be photographed with a scarecrow who has my right boob to his temple and his hand at the small of my back.



Funny, I don't remember "getting felt up by a midget scarecrow prison worker" being in my job description....

Rainbow in the Rearview

OK, so I've always been one of those "everything happens for a reason" sort of people. I like to think that I temper it with enough "you have to pay attention to the universe" 'tude that I'm neither annoying nor expecting shit to just fall in my lap without having to work for it, but... it is possible that my friends just don't tell me these things, either.

But then things like today happen.

First, a wee bit of backstory. When my grandfather (a man of the pulpit for over 45 years) died in 1989, a guy friend invited my cousin and I up to Evanston for free ice cream from the store where he worked, because ice cream makes all things better. As Jen and I were transported by the Purple Line, we looked out the window and saw a rainbow out over Lake Michigan. Reminded that the rainbow is a symbol of God's promise to the world, I was sure that this was visible evidence of Grandpa's spirit taking its rightful place. Ever since, all rainbows make me remember my grandfather.

So there I am, driving to work this morning, minding my own business, trying to stay a respectful distance behind the trucks without having the dickheads in Beemers driving up my ass... I'm rounding the ramp onto the interstate, and I see it. In my rear view mirror, bright and clear as you please, a beautiful, sharp, well-defined rainbow. By the time the ramp straightened out onto the highway, the angle had shifted and it was gone, hidden by billboards or trees or buildings.

But for just that moment, Grandpa stopped by to say hello.

Happy Birthday to me.